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by CatFan @, Green Country, USA, Sunday, May 14, 2017, 10:16

It used to bother me, but thankfully, that went away many years ago. I had a painful, difficult and often contentious relationship with her that negatively impacted my life. She never gave me the love I needed and did a lot of psychological damage when I was a child.

It wasn't until I was middle aged and she was sliding down into dementia that I finally learned what was at the core of this. She had had schizophrenia like her younger sister did, but was not disabled by it, so it went undiscovered. She also had zero abstract reasoning ability which explained why she was unable to learn mathematics.

I went through years of therapy and self-discovery to repair much of the damage done. I have many regrets, but still work at improving myself and go on healing.

The 'big picture' concept I learned from all this is that regardless of the insight, facts and even wisdom that the mind acquires about core issues, it has only some effect on the heart. The heart must heal in its own way, on its schedule, and that coming to love oneself is the first big step in making it happen.

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