A SPOOKY ROMANCE FOR VALENTINES DAY (STA BREAKING NEWS and ARCHIVES)

by Northern1 , Iceland, Saturday, February 14, 2015, 07:23

Because it´s Valentines Day and i love you all so much
and partly because it´s my birthday too, i spent a good portion
of the morning translating a riveting tale of intrigue and romance for
you to enjoy with your coffee or whatever picks you up in the early hours,
or late as applies to Gimp, Pravdaseeker and other beloved down under´s.

It´s a song from the mid eighties performed by a local comedian Laddi.
It has musical quotes from The Pink Panther and Addams Family.
Some enthusiastic fans made a video of the storyline, real cute.

John Spy

Rain splashes on the asphalt, it is autumn.
The streets are empty, it is night.
The lights from the shop windows throw an eerie light on the sidewalk,
it is cold.
A dark clad being pounces from the alley into the darkness, it is black.
He is on the job the private detective known only as John Spy.
Where did he come from, who is he, where did he go, who owns him?
He was sneaky, he was fast, no one knew who he was..John Spy.

He sat by the fireplace smoking a pipe when the phone rang.
He sprung to his feet like a steel spring,
nostrils expanded, his eyes became two glaring cracks and sweat
poured from his forehead.
He lifted the receiver and spoke, "Good evening, this is John"
"I have a job for you" said a raspy, thick yet screechy and slimy voice
into his ear.
"Oh?" said John as he put his pipe out on his Formica Palisander desktop.
"Can you meet me at the pier at 11.35 Greenwich Village time?"
"Yes sure, but how will I know you?"
"I will be wearing a pink hat and waving the national flag"
said the raspy, thick yet screechy and slimy voice and hung up.
John put on his trench coat, turned up the collar, put on his sunglasses,
walked out to his old clunker and started the engine, he was fearless.
He was sneaky, he was fast, no one knew who he was.. John Spy.

He sat in the corner of the coffee shop drinking orange soda.
Short, fat and cross eyed with one ear bigger than the other,
probably due to excessive telephone use.
John Spy approached him slowly.
He wanted to catch him off guard and it would have worked
if he hadn´t slipped on some mayonnaise smeared on the floor.
He sprung back to his feet with a speed that would have put
a grasshopper to shame.
He sat at the table. Big ear asked if he wanted something.
"Yes coffee and donuts"
He started talking fast, his body undulating and jerking
and his chubby cheeks jiggling menacingly
as he spat out the words and tiny pieces of donut flew all about.
He said his wife was cheating on him, but he needed proof.
Every evening exactly at 10 she said she was taking the dog for a walk,
but he knew it was a lie because they had no dog.
But tonight he had followed her to a house downtown
and the only man who could find out what she was doing there was him.
John Spy turned up his collar, walked quickly into the darkness,
he had a job to do and fast.
He was sneaky, he was fast, no one knew who he was.. John Spy.

It was an old spooky house, covered with tree branches and vines.
Nimble as a cat he swung over the fence and was at the house in seconds
mostly due to it only being a couple of feet away from the house.
He cut a piece out of the window with a glass cutter in total silence.
He slipped inside, something warm and hairy brushed against his leg.
His hairs stood on end and he whitened so that the cellar lit up for a moment.
Then he saw that it was only a big hairy rat, he pet it and continued.
He found a stairway and made his way up, he saw light under a door at the top.
He put his ear to the door. What was that knocking sound?
Then he realized it was just his thumping heart.
Slowly he opened the creaking door to the room.
"Come in John, I have been waiting for you all evening"
said a soft woman´s voice.
John Spy walked slowly into the room and looked around.
"We have to stop seeing each other Sigga, he has figured out about the dog."
He was sneaky, he was fast, no one knew who he was.. John Spy.