PSYCHOPATHS I HAVE KNOWN (STA BREAKING NEWS and ARCHIVES)

by chazzz , USA, Sunday, February 01, 2015, 13:23 @ Theresa

Psychopaths and Users - Personal Experiences

I tend toward being between introverted and an observer of human nature. I recently read "Snakes in Suits" about psychopaths in the workplace. I read this because my own experiences suggested that the company I used to work for had at least a few of these sprinkled about in management - especially upper management. It would be unfair to say that I could definitely describe these individuals as clinical psychopaths. But, I can say that the book reinforced my initial gut level perception that the safest course was to stay as far away as practical from these "reptiles" and never trust their words.

One important caveat in dealing with real people who may be a psychopath or at least a narcissistic "user" is that real people seldom fall so neatly into the labels we make for them. I think there are a lot more people who have some of the characteristics of a psychopath (an exaggerated view of their own worth, a big sense of entitlement, lack of human empathy, and a tendency toward lying and manipulation) but are not fully psychopathic as those who might be "clinical psychopaths."

As I read the characteristics of a psychopath, I discovered to my horror that some of those descriptions fit my (adopted) son. I love him dearly but I'm not blind. I see over and over that he seems to have a bigger dose of entitlement built in than a commitment to work for the things he wants and an inability to learn from his mistakes in that area. Also I know that he can be a very talented liar. But I do know that he is also things that are not psychopathic - he is loyal to his parents and close friends and he does care about others. So I can see that he is not a clinical psychopath. In his case my heart goes out to him for those negative traits he has trouble with and I always ask lots of questions to get to the real truth of what is going on.

The company that I used to work for before being laid off had a matrix type organization. That meant that most people had a skill center manager they reported to for personnel type issues and a of project or product manager who they worked with as long a they were on that project. One of the project managers that I worked for came pretty close to being a classic psychopath. I had spoken with this person politely in the break room and general meetings several times and I had found this person to be friendly and cordial. But when I got drafted into working on her project I soon discovered a crazy world. I prefer email communications for clarity and as a matter of record. This person only wanted to communicate verbally. They made it clear that I was working only for them and not as part of the team working the task. I got repeated pressure to make technical recommendations that were unsupported by the facts or the customer's requirements. I came to suspect that there might have been private financial reasons that I was being pressured to recommend to specific outside subcontractor. In the end the matrix organization helped in this case by giving me a little space to avoid making recommendations that I knew were not optimal for the customer. On the other hand, this was the last assignment I had before being laid off and forced into retirement.....

So my personal experience says don't be so quick to brand people with labels that might not be entirely accurate - but do learn to protect yourself from the human predators we have to deal with. Some of them can appear nice and charming on the surface and still be nasty bastards. And some of them seem to radiate the vibe that tells you to be careful around this potential monster.

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Chazzz