SLIDING AND SEEING (STA BREAKING NEWS and ARCHIVES)

by Northern1 , Iceland, Sunday, December 07, 2014, 23:28 @ CatFan

Hi CatFan and all who read this.

Thank you, that was very well put, except for the dude part

My contribution to this forum is taking on a different form.
i hope that´s alright, it´s all i have. i can offer no solutions,
only examples.

i have a brother much younger than i, we have few things in common,
he is more like the father we share, i am more as my mother.
We have trouble connecting, have both made an effort at times
but can´t find a positive thread that bonds us.

Earlier today i met him briefly at our father´s house.
During our short chat our growing distance became even more apparent.
Chats in that house are always the same, revolve around politics
and sociology with some philosophical references thrown in and rarely
is there any sort of closure or agreement, we debate for the sake of it,
a constant cockfight to decide who is king of the circle, while
pretending that we are actually interested in reaching a conclusion.
i never found any satisfaction in this way, i took part in it to
please my father and the funny thing is that it never did.
So much of what i have made myself to do was based on a need for his
recognition and affection. Since my changes became very noticeable
to everyone in my life my father and i have grown closer, more at peace.
Oh he still does not take me seriously, but it´s ok now, i don´t need him to.

When my wife and i arrived my brother and my father were deep in one
of those so called discussions and seemed oblivious to our arrival.
Fine, these days we start our visits there by looking into the kitchen
where my stepmother reigns, a smart sensitive and intuitive woman, the
finger on the family pulse. As father got up to greet my wife i sat down
with my brother in the living room and he continued where they had left
off, a topic i can´t even remember, but it was "one of those"
i listened to him for a while and then said as gently as i could
brother be the change that you want to see in the world.
He looked at me with such dismissive disdain in his eyes that i could
feel my temper flaring, something i try very much to avoid these days.
i saw though that it was not so much what i said that irked him but
how i said it, like i had crossed a border, invaded his territory.
He is stuck in the cockfight and i can´t help him, this i am taking in.

An hour later we attended a pre Xmas party in our apartment building,
a traditional affair, cakes, kids, Santa Clauses and chatting between
the adults. A nice elderly couple sat across us and at one point the
lady leaned closer to me and spoke into my eyes. Something dramatic
and wonderful has happened to you, there is a brightness around you now.
We used to think that you did not like people, were self sufficient,
whatever you are doing keep doing it, the changes are astounding.
i could have kissed her, this was so what i needed to hear.
All i could do was just smile my nicest and say thank you so much.

It took a highly traumatic experience for me to fully reexamine my life,
many things are still in a whirlwind, am tackling so much at once,
but i can feel myself gaining focus with each day that passes.
i am fifty three years old, i have regrets but am so grateful to
have at long last arrived at my own door.

Perception has changed too, songs understood in a new way.
It is written that this one is about life happening while
we are busy making other plans. To me it is also about
an ice cube falling in love with the flame, diminishing,
melting, sliding away to take up it´s original form.

http://paulsimonsongs.blogspot.com/2011/09/slip-slidin-away.html

Riding the wave, flying over barriers, running free
YES