Savage saved my mind (NEWS AND CONVERSATIONS)
Welcome to the club of the awakened. The first few weeks after "swallowing the red pill" are a great challenge. Some, like Cypher, do it, then, regret it. Most refuse the red pill because they instinctively know just how difficult it is to change your paradigm.
There are days when it is rough facing truth, reality, all there is. I have found it to be more than worth it, and would never go back asleep.
Hang in there, and put some fun into your searching.